Running With Angels

Today I ran the first 21 miles of the Boston Marathon ... and it was amazing!

I've been warned so many times about the downhill start and how that destroys your legs so that by the time you reach the hills at around mile 17, you're anhialated, destroyed and useless.

So, I took it slow, tried to be light on my feet, and by the time I got to those hills, they really weren't that bad at all. I mean, they were challenging, but they weren't insurmountable. Not at all.

Maybe that had something to do with the team of angels I had on my side.

Now, I'm not into mysticism or ghosts or even religion per se, but I am spiritual - and I had a spiritual experience today.

So to explain a little bit, "Heartbreak Hill" can also be described as a series of hills that culminates in one very large one at the end. I had been on them before, as those who've read this blog before know, but never at this precise time in a run. So I was extremely nervous about being able to make it up and over all of them without having to stop.

I thought it might be a good idea to call in support. When I run on April 20th, I'll have a bunch of names on my wrist with different mile markers, people I'll be running for during different points in the race. For this training run, I didn't do that, so I decided to make an impromptu list of people to run in honor of... and really, they were running "with" me.

When I approached the first hill, I called on the person who'd know the most what I was going through at that exact moment, my college boyfriend Evan. He ran Boston at least 3 times and his best time was 2:52 - a time I'll never even come close to. He'd been on that very spot many many times, and in fact, his ashes are scattered in Hopkinton, near the start of the Boston Marathon. I called on him to help me up that hill, to give me the strength and courage, and he did.

The next hill wasn't too bad, and I had my grandfather Emil in mind. He was a calm, thoughtful and quiet man and I looked to his quiet strength to help see me through.

For the next one, a little more challenging and a little longer, I knew I needed an ace. So I chose my Aunt Dale. She's my dad's little sister, and she died from Ovarian cancer 5 years ago. She was a no nonsense, firecracker of a woman and I had her piercing voice in my head "C'mon, Julia. What are you waiting for? Get up that hill!" I could almost feel her slap my butt to help me climb this challenging one.

The next one was also not too bad and I thought of my best friend Anna's dad Victor. He was a Russian immigrant and worked very hard to give his family a good life here, and like my grandfather, he too was a man of few words. At least in English to me. I thought of him and Anna and Anna's mom Zina and their combined strength as a family. Then, my friend Helen and the entire Hong family came into my head and I visualized them all standing behind me, pushing me up.

The parts that were actually as challenging as the hills were the long stretches of flat between the hills and during those long stretches, I called on my Great Aunt Jerry. My grandmother died when I was 7, and Aunt Jerry was like a surrogate grandmother to me. She was patient and kind, constant and steadfast, and I needed some of that kind of strength. Not flashy hills kind of strength, but the kind of strength that keeps you going even when things aren't at their most exciting. I also knew that if she was still here (and she'd be 90, which is hard to believe!) she would be right out there on the course to support me - even if she had to be there in a wheelchair.

The last hill, which is technically Heartbreak, I was saving for my mother. I could almost see her smiling ruefully at me, saying "Great. You saved the hardest one for me!" I didn't just want her to push me up the hill. I wanted her to hold my hand and run up the hill with me. I envisioned us both holding hands and gliding up to the top of that very, very long hill like we did back at MGH. I said to her "You'll need the practice today because you'll be running with me a LOT on April 20th." And it was so weird. I actually could see us doing it, holding hands, and it was as if she was helping me up the hill.

When I reached the top, after having had contact wtih all of those special people, my "heartbreak team", I felt invincible. I know I'm ready for Boston.

Anything can happen on 4.20. Heat, cold, rain, a sore muscle. But I'll have my team and so many others there with me, and it's going to be ok.

Love,
Julia