Age Defiance

When I was 20, I got a job working for an extremely glamorous writer in London. She was hugely successful, fabulous with a capital F and she NEVER told anyone her age.

Her D.O.B. was a carefully guarded secret, and being her assistant, I was one of the privileged few who knew the real date.

Now to make things clear, this woman did not look her age. She had incredible skin and had a sort of "indeterminate" age.

When we met, she was 36. I think she wanted people to presume she was around 28. She was a newspaper columnist, and I think it was more impressive to appear to be as perceptive and brilliant in her late twenties than it would have been to be in her mid thirties. Plus, men prefer younger women and she loved men.

To me, though, it always seemed kind of silly. Age is one of those things that, while you can try to hide it, it's easy to figure out - or at least to guestimate.

Once people start talking about their lives, anyone can do the math and say, oh, she must be about X age. To learn that someone lied about it just makes them look vain and sort of sad. Worse, to learn that someone won't talk about it, just makes you want to know it more.

I've always looked younger than I am. If I wanted to pretend I was 7 or 8 years younger, I easily could. But I think that would be a lot of work.

What if people from my past meet the people from my present? I'd be called out as a liar. Plus, I love the look I get when people realize I'm older than they thought I was. It gives me a charge. It makes me smile.

Also, I don't want to live in some weird bubble where I'm in constant denial of my own real age and the aging process. I've always been a fan of acting one's age (most of the time) and I like milestones, comings of age, the maturation process.

I am lucky to look young (for now) so I do put some effort into preserving my youthful looks, but I don't want to wake up one day thinking I've been 29 for 15 years with the harsh reality that I'm actually pushing 50.

Also, because I've known so many people with cancer and know so many others who've lost their lives to cancer, I truly think that we should all celebrate each birthday with as much gratitude as we can.

In about 3 weeks, I'm going to be 35. It sort of feels weird to see it in print, but it's the truth. God willing, I'll live to be 95. That's my goal. But if not, I want to cherish every moment, every year and enjoy myself as I age.

I remember being 15 and having a complete consciousness that "Julia of 35" was going to be different from "Julia of 15" and I wondered, "What would Julia of 35 think of Julia of 15?"

I think she was a pretty awesome 15 year-old. She was wise beyond her years, talented, smart, loving, insecure sometimes and arrogant at others, but she was coming into her own.

And I wonder what Julia of 60 will think of Julia at 35. I hope she likes her. I'm pretty sure she will.